Day 3..

Okay, today was a bit better. I woke up this morning feeling a bit optimistic. I got some job leads from Steve today and I sent them off to him. He mentioned that he was getting a new job and and I was happy for him. He said that I shouldn't sound so discouraged..because it's not official. I know that I'm thinking positive. I know that he really wants to come here but you know, at least I have that...and there's still hope. I know that what we have isn't trivial..we are both frustrated as hell right now. Me with wanting him to see reason, and him with me not being there during the week.

I love him. I truly and honestly love him. I didn't mean to, I didn't plan it, but what of it? Is there a time frame on love? Is there a definitive appropriate time schedule that I had to follow? I didn't know I was to tumble head over heels down that slippery slope. Oh, to be sure, I fought it..to no avail though.

 We are talking a bit more. I'm still walking on tiptoe around him..why, I don't know. I think it's because I don't want any more stress and also I don't like having discontent in this. I love when he's happy and chatty. Lately he's been so withdrawn and closed mouthed.

And now..Xmas may be a bust because he doesn't have the money to come here. I may have to wire him the money or give him the return money to get home. I may not see him until New Year's Eve..*sigh* I haven't seen him since November 19th...well the weekend of the 19th. At least we are talking a bit more. Lawd..Saturday was a mess.

So...here we are. I prayed alot and I am also thinking positive. Tasha is helping me lots.I haven't cried today. I got a bit misty but I've not gone overboard with the water works. I've actually haven't gone the doom and gloom route lately...and I am still here. Hell, where am I going? I am not leaving him. Okay, so I'm not even going to go into the "And I am telling you" route right now..lol. I just know that I am not going anywhere.



You think I'd leave your side baby?
You know me better than that
You think I'd leave down when your down on your knees?
I wouldn't do that

I'll do you right when your wrong
I-----ohhh, ohhh

If only you could see into me

oh, when your cold
I'll be there to hold you tight to me
When your on the outside baby and you can't get in
I will show you, your so much better than you know
When your lost, when your alone and you can't get back again
I will find you darling I'll bring you home

If you want to cry
I am here to dry your eyes
and in no time you'll be fine

You think I'd leave your side baby
You know me better than that
You think I'd leave you down when your down on your kness
I wouldn't do that

I'll do you right when your wrong
I-----I, ohhhh, ohhh

If only you could see into me

Oh when your cold
I'll be there
To hold you tight to me
Oh when your alone
I'l be there by your side baby..