I'm trying here. It's not as easy as I thought it would be..I mean I find myself reaching out to him like we are the same. I wonder how that works. I mean I feel like an idiot wanting to scream and kick. And I feel lonely as hell. Lonelier now, seems like. I don't know what to do. It's like I have no one to turn to..
Why is it so easy for people to walk away from me?
I'm laying in bed, trying not to think about him. Why is it so hard? David said that this is my test. I know it is. I've not cried today, well just a bit. But earlier I couldn't catch my breath.I came home and felt so sore, like I was in a cage match..but that's all psychological. I wish I could tell him that I love him and how much I miss his touch. I want to tell him to give it a chance but..
Why am I even bothering writing? I wish he was here..him holding me while we sleep, him pulling me to him when I get too hot in his sleep..I even miss that loud trumpety snore when he's had too much to drink. *sigh*
Why am I doing this to myself?
Anyway, I'm going to try to sleep. Wish me luck.
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